030109
sometimes i feel as if i'm going crazy.
plunging down a blinding hole in an empty room with
an extra set of walls, falling down.
down down deeper, and the walls just
falling faster. everything broken around
me, pieces. nothing adhesive, as if there
is no cure, no solution. like i can't tie
back all the ties, only this tie around
my neck because it feels like i can't
breathe when my heart gets so heavy.
and in this empty room i see all your
faces, hear all your voices. overlapping,
biting, conflicting. everything crashing,
and i feel like i am going to explode.
and then i hear sounds, and it's
just somebody opening the door to
my empty room, and i smile as
if everything is just fine, darling,
everything is just dandy.




                                                   020909
in her last moment, her last hour
of death, her chest jumped and it
frolicked as she let out one last breath.
seasons broke down and swelled with
the tide and i think to myself, my, what
a beautiful bride.